<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>we have never been here before by shymaa</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048954">we have never been here before</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shymaa/pseuds/shymaa'>shymaa</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dark (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adam isn't that bad too, Gen, Time Loop, i love Jonas Kahnwald, i will defend him to my last breath</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:35:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,131</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25048954</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shymaa/pseuds/shymaa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>we change small part of the equation so that the next time, they... we will be successful.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we have never been here before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Martha's screaming rang around , shouting his name.<br/>
"JONAS, STOP. PLEASE JONAS."<br/>
he closed his eyes.<br/>
remnants of feelings long buried tried to claw their way back to the surface. Whatever heart he had left,  whatever tiny pieces survived that long, broke. He braced himself and lowered the lever.<br/>
the dark matter raged, blue electric sparks flew everywhere. Martha's screams intensified. terrible screams, like a wounded animal. He knows first hand how this electricity feels and phantom pain tangles over his skin.<br/>
and finally silence.<br/>
blessed silence.<br/>
Jonas opened his eyes slowly. glancing around in disbelief. He is still here. killing the origin and Martha didn't unravel the knot. He failed.<br/>
He stood alone. all his followers were gone. He moved them like chess pieces and never allowed himself to consider this outcome.<br/>
He failed and he was alone. it was all for nothing.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Charr was all that remained of Jonas' house. He stood among the rubble, as forgotten and useless as the charr. so many years of his life spent planning and studying every choice, believing he could alter the time. He was still as naive and hopeful a fool now as when he was 17. only with much more blood on his hands.<br/>
The photos were burned beyond recognition but he could see them in his mind. normal people who had no idea of the shit storm about to hit them. the boy in the yellow jacket never had a chance. if he ever could have been anything else, if he ever hoped of being something else, he can't remember it.</p>
<p>all that was left was a burned man who killed his mother and the love of his life multiple times and caused endless suffering and now waits for his son to kill him.</p>
<p>footsteps approached from behind. He turned and saw Claudia.</p>
<p>"hello, Jonas." She said Jonas, not Adam. he still thought of himself as Jonas even when he asked everyone to call him adam. so many people were calling him Jonas again.</p>
<p>"that's impo…." he stopped, took a deep breath and whispered "Schrodinger's cat".</p>
<p>"you figured it out." Claudia said.</p>
<p>"not fast enough." Jonas fought to sound normal. "I need a way to fix this loophole. to warn my younger self there will be two Marthas."</p>
<p>"you still have no idea how the game is played" she smiled like a teacher disappointed with a brilliant but thick headed student, shaking her head slightly."you want to destroy the knot but every action you take continues its existence."</p>
<p>"I will kill him. I will kill the origin and Martha." he said with convection.</p>
<p>"you thought that the origin lies in the bindings of both worlds. but in reality, it's outside of both worlds."<br/>
his eyes tightened, questioning.</p>
<p>"our thinking is governed by duality. black, white. light and shadows. your world and Eva's world. but that's false.  you need a third dimension to fulfill it all."</p>
<p>his head swam. all these years.…. </p>
<p>"the triquetra." he took a deep breath, his eyes widening in comprehension.</p>
<p>Claudia nodded.</p>
<p>"this means… a third world?"</p>
<p>Claudia spoke as kindly as she could, trying to spare him.</p>
<p>"I haven't yet gathered all the details but something happened in the third world that caused this knot. your world and Eva's world were not meant to exist. everything you and Eva did in this knot, and will do again and again, you have done out of love and yet you have brought nothing but pain and suffering. you have been trying to escape what you will become. but that's impossible."</p>
<p>At first, he avoided her eyes. but midway through her explanation, he grew more focused.</p>
<p>"how do you know all this? how do you know about this origin world?" he asked.</p>
<p>"I've spent 33 years looking for answers in your world and hers. I'm trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. to understand how everyone can continually be reborn from the same family tree. till I realized that we're not all part of the knot. Both worlds are a cancer that must have grown from something else. but like you and Eva, I must preserve everything. in order to become what I am today and we have the means to stop it when we find it.</p>
<p>we can't yet untie this knot till we understand what happened in the original world."</p>
<p>her words echoed through the years and he remembered being 17 and stupid. when he believed her for so long when she said, change one small component of the equation and we change the world. </p>
<p>as if she read his mind, she said "I lied to you and to Eva but the time can't be changed. I tried to give you hope that one day, it will all go away but till then, everything has to happen the way it always has. we will forever do what we have always done before. as long as the knot exists, we are condemned in both worlds, to feel and incite every act of suffering anew. till we know how to untie the knot. I think we have been here before. We leave clues. my older self said if everything is done right, regina will live. She is doomed in both worlds, all these years I've searched in both worlds for a way for her to live but she can only live in the world which everything was created from."</p>
<p>Jonas stared at the wall, unseeingly.</p>
<p>"It means I have to allow it again," he said.</p>
<p>Silence stretched between them, Claudia had said everything she could say. the logic, the physics, time. and while she and her daughter will live in the original world, he and everyone he loved will cease to exist.</p>
<p>"if I knew, i wouldn't be able to do what i must. what I have to do to exist as I am now. Even if I tried, time would not allow it. we aren't free."</p>
<p>"I had Martha send you the letter, telling you never to lose hope. I came here today to tell you, there's hope."</p>
<p>Jonas looked at her long and hard. there was no telling what's inside his head. but they both knew he was going to die. today.</p>
<p>"Tannhaus. there are things I hid from you therefore I knew Eva also hid them from you. Sic mundus was already here when we came."</p>
<p>she nodded.</p>
<p>"Goodbye, Claudia." he turned to face the wall, his hands linked behind his back. the poster he assumed for many hours here in this room while planning his ultimate chess board.</p>
<p>Claudia could see the young boy inside him. it was the curse of the old age. you can never forget how people begun.</p>
<p>"Goodbye, Jonas." Claudia took one last look at him and left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is purely self indulgent. I love Jonas and I hate thinking the show is over. so many "true" things were said, unlikely to be a coincidence. they must have left clues for themselves because changing major events isn't possible.<br/>feedback is always welcome.<br/>enjoy 😁</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>